I’ve been cleaning up the blog a bit and came across this post, written 9 years ago while I was on maternity leave with my second child. (Tink, my daughter, was 2. Buzz, my son, was 4 months old). It’s a stream-of-conciousness post that I never posted at the time (not sure why) but it was such a walk down memory lane and I thought I’d share it now because Motherhood is HARD and we all deserve to be celebrated — whether our kids are babies, toddlers, tweens, teens, or grown-ups. So sit back and enjoy this little peek into my life as a mom of two and the hijinks that ensued back then. Happy Mother’s Day, friends. We’ve all got crazy stories and hopefully me sharing mine even in this rambly, totally-in-the-moment memory will bring you a smile because you’ll know you’re not alone.

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{{The photos above are all from the month this post was originally written. Image #1: Buzz sleeps on my chest on the couch while Tink watches a movie (most likely Tinkerbell) from my lap. Image #2: one of our many walks. Image #3: one of my favorite photos of Buzz and I. We are both looking into each other’s eyes and smiling. There is a beautiful connection. We actually recreated it a few years back which we both got a kick out of. Image #4: You can’t see me, but Buzz is in my lap (his arm is draped over my leg), Tink is in Buzz’s lap (which they both used to delight in), and her doll is in her lap/mouth. This pig pile is how I used to read to them at that age.}}

It is hilarious to sit here and think I might get to write this post. My two children have been napping for a while and I have run around the house getting various daily tasks done since they started. I have no idea how long I'll have until the chaos begins again. But, today, instead of just zonking out with my phone in hand for a few stolen minutes, I've had enough sleep (or caffeine?) to attempt to write. THIS is what being a mom of two is. It's never knowing when (if ever) you'll get a moment to yourself again. And, if that moment comes, if it'll last long enough to conquer that task you've had on your to-do list for ages. I'm slowly getting both kiddos on a nap schedule that has them napping at the same time (and, more importantly for task-conquering, not napping on me), and so I have hope for my return from maternity leave in just under two months. However silly it might be of me, I do believe I'll have my schedule together by then. We'll see! I'll make it work. I'm starting to emerge from that lovely (and exhausting) haze of newborn-baby-dom and feeling like it's time to use my brain and be creative again. It's an exciting time. I remember it well with Tink. The question is whether my kiddos will allow me to do it. I'm hoping I can sort of force it...gently of course.

I'm not going to sit here and write some amazing story about being a mother of two. There are millions of fantastic tales out on the internet now, being shared by many of you as we speak, giving moms hope and camaraderie; giving a sense of relief as one mom connects to the story of another and another. We're all doing this motherhood thing. Women have been doing it for ages. It's amazing. We're amazing. But we're also sort of ordinary in our extraordinary-ness. While being a mom gives you superpowers, this isn't anything new. There are millions of us heroes doing heroic things every day. My own story isn't even that interesting; I have a supportive husband, two kids who sleep well and don't cry too often, and we have an amazing support system in our extended family. I'm not working against any odds, I'm not struggling to keep my finances in control, in trying to keep my family together, in trying to keep any and all Big Bad Wolf's away. I'm just trying to keep them alive each day and make sure they're generally happy. I'm incredibly lucky that this is all I have to do. In the land of comparisons, I have it easy. Way easy. I am in awe of moms who have other issues to deal with in addition to just being a mom. YOU women are superheroes. Me? Maybe I'm just a regular old hero. Having two kids is still tough even when you're living the good life. It's a mental challenge.

Not only am I dealing with two kids under two on a less-than-ideal amount of sleep, but I'm dealing with two people who can't really elucidate their feelings with ease. Buzz, my insanely happy little boy, is pretty easy to figure out. It's usually one of four things: hunger, wet diaper, gas, or boredom/overstimulation. Figure it out, and wham! Happy kid. Easy enough. Tink, on the other hand, CAN tell me generally what's wrong. If she gets hurt, she runs to me saying, "hurt!" and let's me know what body part between the sobs. If she's hungry, she demands a snack (yes, demands). If she's wet, I know immediately because my little girl has decided to get potty trained at a very young age. If she's wet, chances are the floor is too. While she can give me pretty good clues as to what's bothering her, I'm dealing with a toddler now; half the time she doesn't know what's bothering her. She threw an absolute fit today before her nap because I let her play with the Lego cake toppers we used for our wedding cake. She got to play with them, we acted out a scene, and then we put them down for a nap because it was nap time for all creatures. We walked away and then she LOST IT. Wanted to go back and play with "Lady and Guy." Knew they were napping and that she was about to nap and all of that was okay with her only at the same time it wasn't. Oh, the bewildering emotions of a toddler. Don't worry; she got over it fast. But it's hard. It's hard having one kid who has simple yet demanding demands and another who doesn't always know what she wants but she wants it RIGHT NOW AHHHH WHY AREN'T YOU GIVING ME WHATEVER IT IS I CAN'T TELL YOU I WANT BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW BUT GIVE IT TO ME?!?!!

A couple weeks ago, I finally decided to help Tink pursue her dream of being potty trained. She had shown interest when I was pregnant and that just wasn't going to happen. I could barely reach around my belly to get her on the potty. And all that bending? No way. Especially since she would likely regress when he was born. She showed a huge interest again when he was a newborn. We just couldn't do it. Too much was going on. Finally, with Buzz around 10 weeks old and practically ready to start his career as a linebacker or a lumberjack, I woke up one morning and said, "Ok. Let's try it!" I cranked up the heat and let her run around naked for three days. The first day she left puddles all over the house. By the third day, she totally had it down! I couldn't believe it. Since then, we've done long car rides, visits to other people's homes, gone shopping, gone to church, restaurants, etc. She has done great with accidents few and far between. She's doing great. She's still not 100% there but maybe 90% and that's awesome for someone who's not even two. Go her. Lemme tell ya though, it's been HARD. Not only do I have to meet the demands of someone learning how her body works when it comes to letting go of various excretions in real time, but I have to also humor the BILLION extra attempts. She yelps "potty!" about 35 times a day and into the bathroom we march. She's right the majority of the time - but the rest of the time she's doing it because she knows I'll drop everything and give her attention. I can always tell these "boy-who-cried-wolf" moments from the real ones, but I still have to take her JUST IN CASE. I shrugged some of them off once early in this experience and then she ended up having an accident because I ignored what I thought was nothing. So now we go every. single. time. In case you didn't know, I'm also breastfeeding Buzz... many times a day as he is still young. The poor kid gets delatched and dumped onto his playmat more times than I care to admit so I can take my girl to the bathroom. It's awful. Don't worry though; I feel pretty confident that he gets his share of attention too.

My point is: being a mom of two is hard. So here’s a funny story for ya.

One day, Tink had just gone potty and her pants got a tiny bit wet. So she's running around without pants on. I go to grab her a new pair but I don't have any downstairs. Meanwhile, Buzz is crying to be fed. I shrug and say to myself, "she can run around naked for a couple minutes." I start to feed him. Tink then suddenly and without warning, poops on the floor. Right in front of me... but JUST out of reach. And before I can even think about my next move, she steps in it. And runs around the living room leaving poop footprints everywhere. EVERYWHERE. And I'm sitting in the middle of all of this watching and not able to do anything about it because it's already too late and I'll be damned if I'm delatching this poor boy again and what's the point because the damage (oh, the damage) is already done and AGHHHHHHHH?! So I did what any mother would do. I sat there laughing. I calmly fed Buzz, burped him, and laid him down happily in his Rock N' Play. I cleaned Tink off and plunked her on the couch to watch Tinkerbell and asked her to please not move; never scolding her for any of this because she doesn't know what the hell just happened either. I then got down on my hands and knees and scrubbed the floor of all its now dried and crusty poop footprints until it was gleaming and I was a hot mess from sweat and stress and all the damn poop. Then…the doorbell rang. Wondering who the hell that could be, I looked up to see a man with flowers in the breezeway. “A flower delivery! Someone must've sensed this hideous moment I was in and brightened my day! Wow! This never happens! I've never had flowers delivered",” I thought. I open the door, a hot mess - yes - but now a smiling one, the poop smell probably wafting through to this poor man, and he asks me if he can leave this flower delivery for my neighbor with me because she wasn't home.....I laughed really really hard, and told the man no, he could not. Because I am a mom of two kids under two - one who just poop-walked all over my living room. Clearly taking care of a neighbors beautiful flower arrangement until their return home was going to end me. END ME. So I sent him on his way to another neighbor's house.

We get through it - all the hijinx and the craziness and the absurdity. These kids - our kids - are awesome and even if our day contains just HALF a smile from them, it's all worth it. So, this is where my life is these days. It's awesome and wonderful and full of cuddles and creativity and learning new things for the first time and witnessing awesomness and just general gladness.And also poop.

-Kerry

A look back on this Mother’s Day.

Buzz is Six Months Old!